They did it. The feminists have actually won. But they did so in such a clever way that most chauvinists refuse their victory and still believe that they're on top. You see, we were led to believe that this was going to be a stand up fight of rights versus unequal pay. That their purpose was to be seen as equals on the job market and deserve the same rights as men. We were deceived.
Sun Tsu once said 'Know thy enemy'. And the evil mammary clad army knows us well. They have been studying us for centuries. Finding our weakness's, and our perversions. What makes us tick and most importantly how we think. Which is unfortunately for me is with my colossal trouser snake I call "The Paradox". They have been experimenting and improving their methods with subtle sophistication. First off, apparently the male mind is easily fooled and widely susceptible to the female Jedi mind tricks. The first phase of the female uprising was in their professions. Be easy on the eyes and pretend that they are easily coerced into sex by a male superior. Once this notion is accepted and embraced by male employers, it becomes common place. Everyone from Lincoln to "I didn't inhale now shut up and swallow," Clinton.
Phase 2. A female operative is then given the signal to commence Operation Back Pedal. Otherwise knows as the sexual harassment lawsuit. Back Pedal was a huge wrench in the works in that the higher ups of companies are so afraid of being sued and then losing half of their belongings due to the impending divorce of their sleeper agents, that mass hysteria ensues prompting massive female promotions that sweep the corporate world. Ushering in.... The age of The Power Suit.
Phase 3. Female operatives are now in a decision making position hampered only by the last few proud warriors of the male resistance. They hold true, at first but the constant presence of sweater meat and batted eye lashes steadily corrodes the psychological armour of even our most virtuous guardians. Until all that's left is a sweaty motel room littered with pants suits and push up bras and an ultimatum of "Promotion or court case." We never stood a chance. Turns out that while men spent thousands of years perfecting the art of war and merciless genocide, they were busy perfecting the art of getting into our heads. Only not until recently have we seen the full effects of their psychological warfare.
They have been spending their entire existence creeping into our heads, implanting key factors that make us drooling, amorphous blobs of horny. And the sick bastards were good at it But their mission digs deeper than that. While the corporate juggernauts of sexuality have been infiltrating our higher forms of decision making, a smaller, lesser known threat has been interloping with our most menial positions.
Phase 4. End Game. With the enemy posing as occupational acquaintances and 'allies' with the same goal as the rest of us, the final move has been set in motion. Their tactical alibi and disadvantage that makes us feel secure is a ruse to lull us into a false sense of security. We feel like big men! We make more money, we work harder. We pee standing up. Testosterone is great! Enter the masters of psychology. They have spent so much time analysing our brains and reprogramming them, that they now know exactly how we think. The lawsuit is ever present but their are slippery loopholes looming with possibilities and despair for everything. Sure they make less money than us but when asked to complete an impossible task, a bat of the lashes and properly timed back stretch is all that's needed to have the task rerouted to Johnson in accounting so that her day can be cleared for whatever is needed to get that back, back in order.
So maybe on average they make less money than men, have to try harder to be recognized and succeed, and always turn a sausage fest into a battle of the fittest. But honestly fella's, how many times have YOU actually said know to a hotty. Gentlemen. We lost this war.
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