After the long drawn out process of Sven the jewelry clerk guiding me through the display case of consensual castration, it comes time to pay. But guess what. I have worse credit than a Libyan politician. It turns out that paying for expensive things outright and staying on top of your credit card debt gets you nowhere in this economy.
And it's not even that I have bad credit. I have no credit. It seems that even after a year of going out of my way to use a piece of plastic that in the long run bestows me the great honor of paying twice the actual price for something, ole Consisco's name still doesn't appear on that mystical network of the easily dooped. I then asked the light-footed Sven how one would go about acquiring credit. "Easy," he says. "Just buy an expensive item and take forever paying it off." An expensive item. I suppose that someone forgot to mention to me that a twelve hundred dollar wedding ring registers somewhere in the range of small potatoes in the world of credit. Which left me dumbfounded. I don't have credit because I don't buy stupid expensive things. I can't buy stupid things because I have no credit. That's kind of like being too hungry to be allowed to eat.
But you can't exist in this world unless you owe someone a substantial amount of money. But I've figured it out. They don't want to give me the expensive items because I can have them paid off before the credit card companies make enough money off of my interest alone to fund a small war. However they are more than willing to continue piling expensive items on people whose finances are spread so Calista Flockhart thin that it will be their grandchildren paying off the annual fees and Playstations but not by choice. Selling a man a loaf of bread is good business. Selling a man a loaf of bread and making him pay for four years at 18 percent interest? Well that's what governments are built on.
Think about it for a second. Our banks are controlling our individual interest rates, tell us what we can and can't buy and calculate our personal worth by how much we make versus our drag on society. Theoretically the governments could very easily turn to the banks and tell them what interest rates should be and what model they should use to gauge peoples credit rating... EXCEPT these are the same banks dictating the worth of a countries dollar, setting Americas debt ceiling and also cherry picking which countries are entering a recession and which will be miraculously saved by people sponsored bailouts courtesy of the worlds banks.
Interesting. So if representatives of the people elected by the people are powerless to the concept of a man I'm being forced to pay to hold my money for me, then who is really in charge? Why are we electing political leaders and not financial payment plans. Party ideals as opposed to sound investment packages. Because you're not wanted to know it's all a big wheel to get those in charge more money.
In fact just about everything that's wrong with this world can all be traced back to a monetary gain. All these super storms, droughts, famines, unprecedented heat waves, etc. The common denominator in this equation of calamity is green house gases, other wise known as air pollution, or GLOBAL WARMING. The greatest contributor to these gases would be internal combustion engines. And no matter what you do for a living, fisherman, Walmart manager or politician; you are contributing to these green house gases. Fishermen's engines run on diesel, Walmart delivery trucks, diesel. And everything about politicians requires a rather hefty gas bill. Limos, Air Force One, Every war they approve. (Let's face it. B52's don't run on smiles and happy thoughts.)
But why can't we just find an alternative to these world ruining devices. We have. Electric cars have been around since the '60s, have been steadily improving since and haven't a single negative impact on the environment. What about the power plants that charge them? Would they not also destroy the environment? You bet your ass they would, and continue to do so. But here's the kicker. The Earth absorbs enough solar energy in a day to power the entire world for a month.
Then why aren't these things in use? Doesn't Canada have the biggest electric car manufacturing company in the eastern hemisphere? Yup. However electric cars have been banned in North America, a movement STRONGLY sponsored and supported by certain oil companies. And as for solar power plants? No one owns the rights to the sun so how can they possibly make any money off of it? "Fuck the planet! I need a new Ferrari!"
So next time theirs a record breaking natural disaster and out nations leaders beg us to start chipping in to cover the tab, join me in a full hearted laugh as they too are completely powerless to the financial ebbs and flows of Satan's Chase Financial. And maybe just ask Patty who cashes your paychecks at the bank, if she wouldn't mind maybe letting a few Somali kids eat today.
All I wanted was a ring!
Thank You
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