Going grocery shopping high, is the stupidest fucking thing in the world. A lot of people say don't go hungry, fuck it, go hungry but go sober. I got all lit up and polished off the last bit of Mini-Wheats, and remembered like a crack head found his lucky pipe that Superstore's open 24 hours now. Because they know they're in the weed capital and that I have the will power of a blade of grass.
I don't even remember most of the process other than the stares and that I made at least one checkout lady horribly uncomfortable. Grabbing sales 'cause I'd be an idiot not to buy it. No memory of what I bought other than I spent 70 dollars. I wake up all proud as hell, grab the roommate to show him all the wonderful things I bought. I spring open the cupboard doors expecting all this great food. I got nothing! I spent 70 dollars on pop tarts, and passion flakies. I could send an army into diabetic shock.
People reading this may think I have a lot of money that I can spend 70 dollars on different forms of hardened sugar? I have no money! I found a nickel on the sidewalk the other day and had a religious experience. I was crying, people were crossing the street to avoid me. It was awkward.
But that's half the fun of being poor right? Tearing your couch apart for coins to buy toilet paper. The irony of needing paper money staring you in the face all the way from your ass. Waiting forever for enough money to buy some soap and pissing it away on forty kilos of pop tarts. Maybe my priorities are a little out of whack but my kids got breakfast for a month, and you gotta try the new s'more flavour.
No comments:
Post a Comment